Bowl Of Oatmeal http://bowlofoatmeal.com Full of Crunchy Intellectual Goodness Fri, 26 Oct 2007 16:25:27 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2 en Say it taint so… http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/26/say-it-taint-so/ http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/26/say-it-taint-so/#comments Fri, 26 Oct 2007 14:19:05 +0000 Catherine http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/26/say-it-taint-so/ Why is this word such a bugaboo for me?  If you do some cursory research on ‘taint’ (n), you come up with various definitions: a hit in tilting, a knock/blow, a disease in horses, a conviction, a stain/blemish, an unpleasant smell, a corruption/infection, and a trace/tinge of disease.

The OED provides some background on my favorite sense of the word:

1. a. A stain, a blemish; a sullying spot; a touch, trace, shade, tinge, or tincture of some bad or undesirable quality; a touch of discredit, dishonour, or disgrace; a slur.

1601 SHAKES. Twel. N. III. iv. 390, I hate ingratitude more in a man, Then..any taint of vice. a1637 B. JONSON Underwoods xiii, A hallowed temple, free from taint Of ethnicisme. 1643 CHAS. I. Proclam. Wks. 1662 II. 350 Free from the foul Taint of High Treason. 1682 OTWAY Venice Pres. II. i, They leave a Taint, a Sully where they’ve past. 1706 PHILLIPS (ed. Kersey), A Taint..a Blur, Spot, or Blemish in one’s Reputation. 1742 FIELDING Jos. Andrews II. iv, His temper was..without the least taint of moroseness. 1781 COWPER Expost. 150 Free from every taint but that of vice. 1819 KEATS Eve St. Agnes xxv, She knelt so pure a thing, so free from mortal taint. 1838 PRESCOTT Ferd. & Is. (1846) II. xx. 211 A slight taint of pedantry. 1851 G. BRIMLEY Ess., Wordsworth 103 There is no taint upon his robe. 1883 SIR J. BACON in Law Rep. 25 Ch. Div. 316 For good consideration and without taint of suspicion.

“So free from mortal taint”

I wish I were!  How the hoosie-heck did this word come to mean the perineum?  Wikipedia’s article gives a nice cultural resume on that!  (t’ain’t one part or the other)  The article also mentions the Mr. Show with Bob and David episode (#406) that features this featureless anatomical part.  This sketch marks the first time where I was intimately exposed to this part of the body.  Now I find that sketch funny, yet it is still repulsive and vulgar at the same time.  Why not just call it a perineum?  Not catchy enough for our rich, polysemous vernacular, I guess.

To end my short rumination, I can only say to you, ‘taint’, that sometimes I feel I’ve got to run away.  I’ve got to run away from the pain that you drive into the heart of me.  The love we share seems to go nowhere, and I’ve lost my light for I toss and turn–I can’t sleep at night.  Once I ran to you (I ran).  Now I’ll run to you.  This tainted love…
   

]]> http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/26/say-it-taint-so/feed/ The Cereal Poet http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/24/the-cereal-poet-4/ http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/24/the-cereal-poet-4/#comments Wed, 24 Oct 2007 14:28:31 +0000 Catherine http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/24/the-cereal-poet-4/ A Plate of Rispetto

Just as I watch your fork wind little strings of spaghetti,
My thoughts unravel on my too-full mental plate
Of how to compose lines like Ferlinghetti
Or how to twine wisps of words, confused and inchoate.

How does one season a bland lyrical repast?
In time your tomato-y dinner wanes; these lines will outlast
Your stringy feast before you.  I need some hint
To make this last line like your after-dinner mint!

]]> http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/24/the-cereal-poet-4/feed/ Meet Zorocks http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/23/meet-zorocks/ http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/23/meet-zorocks/#comments Tue, 23 Oct 2007 13:57:00 +0000 Catherine http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/23/meet-zorocks/ Zorocks

Ocks of Zor, or Zorocks as he is affectionately known, hails from the planet Zor, of course.  After striking out in kickball (and thus his disgruntled visage) yesterday, Zorocks allowed me to come into his presence and told me he wants his own profile on the internet(s).  Here are his stats:

 

Turn-ons: spaghetti, people bearing gifts of spaghetti, and galactic peace

Turn-offs: pizza, fake people, and fake people bearing pizza

Favorite sport: Volleyball

Favorite poetic form: Rispetto

Favorite movie: Big Night

Favorite book: Edwin A. Abbott’s Flatland

Favorite grammar mistake: Dangling Modifier

Greatest fear: Lamination

 

 

 

Zorocks lives alone, but he has two good friends: baseball-playing Damone (male, pictured here in blue) and soccer-playing Frency (female, pictured here in red).

Damone and Frency

 

Zorocks would like his three-dimensional-visually-sighted friends to know that he will be stopping by for a spaghetti dinner at a home near you soon.

]]> http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/23/meet-zorocks/feed/ The Cereal Poet http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/23/the-cereal-poet-3/ http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/23/the-cereal-poet-3/#comments Tue, 23 Oct 2007 11:51:52 +0000 Catherine http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/23/the-cereal-poet-3/ Scott’s Haiku

Scott wants a haiku–

I don’t know how to write one–

Perhaps this will do?

]]> http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/23/the-cereal-poet-3/feed/ Re-inventing Stack-a-meal http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/22/re-inventing-stack-a-meal/ http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/22/re-inventing-stack-a-meal/#comments Mon, 22 Oct 2007 12:19:49 +0000 Catherine http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/22/re-inventing-stack-a-meal/ Traditional Stack-a-meal is a fun, interactive meal—you construct your plate with the simple ingredients of canned peas, instant potatoes, Manwich sloppy joe sauce, and cheese for topping.   I have experienced Stack-a-meal first hand, and it is a creative event worth the time and energy.  Traditional Stack-a-meal, once dubbed “Man-meal” by a connoisseur, is perfect for fussy eaters (there is no right way to stack) and provides a basic complement of your dietary requirements (in that there is a starch, protein, and vegetable).

 

As luck would have it, we found ourselves scrounging and foraging for dinner.  I was reminded that we basically had all of the ingredients to Stack.   We began with the items we had in our kitchen: peas (frozen), mashed red-skinned garlic potatoes, ground turkey with Mexican seasoning, and mozzarella and cheddar cheeses.   We Stacked, and the rest is culinary history.

 

Stack-a-meal

 

Stack-a-meal

 

As you can see, this is how I Stacked—a piquante roasted red pepper chipotle sauce was added ’round the Stack, which made for a nice complement to our seasoned meat.   Does this re-invention illustrate just how versatile Stack-a-meal is or that we watch too much Iron Chef?

 

How do you Stack?

]]> http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/22/re-inventing-stack-a-meal/feed/ The Cereal Poet http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/20/the-cereal-poet-2/ http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/20/the-cereal-poet-2/#comments Sat, 20 Oct 2007 14:08:35 +0000 Catherine http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/20/the-cereal-poet-2/ I can’t manage a conflagration today–a limerick will have to do. 

O for a muse of fire

There once was a muse of fire

Who wanted to desperat’ly retire

She talked to her boss

Who was sad at the loss

And said, “Relinquish your badly singed lyre.”

]]> http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/20/the-cereal-poet-2/feed/ The Cereal Poet http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/19/the-cereal-poet/ http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/19/the-cereal-poet/#comments Fri, 19 Oct 2007 14:29:52 +0000 Catherine http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/19/the-cereal-poet/ Ode to a Cherry Jolly Rancher

 

From your wooden vessel I pluck you, gladly

Seeking out only your red rippling rosy flavorality

Deeper and deeper I thrust my hand to crinkle your

Transparent blanket, tickling crackling synapses

Until you can no longer resist me.

Eschewing all of your kin—

Watermelon, Grape, Green Apple, Raspberry—

None please me but you.

 

O cheery cherry confection!

O blithe rouge cerise, from what

Agricultural manager have you been harvested?

What proprietaire de ranch has stirred you to

Sugary crystalline perfection?

 

The bowl is still now.

You, unwrapped and I, rapt—

My mouth reels yet from your syrupy caress.

I would another, but we are spent from our sweet tryst.

Portcullised as I am, semi-dissolved and molar-lodged as you are,

My hungry maw must wait.

]]> http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/19/the-cereal-poet/feed/ An Open Letter to Tilda http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/19/an-open-letter-to-tilda/ http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/19/an-open-letter-to-tilda/#comments Fri, 19 Oct 2007 14:27:06 +0000 Catherine http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/19/an-open-letter-to-tilda/ Dear Tilda,

My, it has been a long time!  I am sorry to be so negligent in my response to you and your comment and query.  I do hope you have found the information you were seeking.

I hardly need tell you, Tilda, that I have been quite busy.  What with my active social calendar, my familial obligations, and my vocational duties, I dare say I have time for anything else!  Least of all, I do not have time for daily blogging, of which I am sure you are painfully aware. 

Tilda, you have been patient in awaiting my first post, and for that, I thank you from the proverbial bottom of my heart.  I know it is hard to believe, but some of my esteemed friends have mocked me about the paucity of posts!  Yes, I know, this news comes as quite a shock to you, gentle Tilda.  You alone have borne my absence stoically, quietly, and with dignity. 

And so, Tilda, I must close this e-missive for now.  I wish you, as always, the best in your sojourn on the internet(s).

Virtually yours,

Catherine

]]> http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2007/10/19/an-open-letter-to-tilda/feed/ Welcome to Bowl Of Oatmeal http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2006/03/09/welcome-to-bowl-of-oatmeal/ http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2006/03/09/welcome-to-bowl-of-oatmeal/#comments Thu, 09 Mar 2006 20:31:09 +0000 Catherine http://bowlofoatmeal.com/2006/03/09/welcome-to-bowl-of-oatmeal/ Now full of intellectual fiber!

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